Old Stories
by SilenceOnMars
Summary: Old stories from when I was younger. Mostly humour.
1. Chapter 1

**Far away, in some strange land, wherever Ryuga went during the time he was traveling, we notice a slight disturbance in the random wildlife.**

"I AM YOUR FATHER!"

Kenta peered around the tree, wondering who could be scaring the birds down from the trees. Most of them dead.

"LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER!"

Ryuga, wielding a cobalt-colored lightsaber, stabbed at unseen opponents, his cape/jacket billowing in the wind.

"I SAID I AMMMM YOUR FATHER! NOW FIGHT ME!"

He struck a tree with heartfelt vengeance.

"I AMMM YOUR-ah, forget it." The lightsaber disappeared and Kenta decided to label it in his mind as "Regular Life."

**Over in Dungeon Gym, somewhere in America, we wonder what could be making all that racket.**

"Mfgmshabdo, Solo!" Toby practices his Greedo impression in private. But not completely alone.

Masamune and Zeo are laughing in the basement, watching the secret video screens, as the Team Dungeon leader creeps up behind Toby and grabs him by the shoulders.

Toby screams, and yells to high sky. His scream breaks the mirror in front of him.

"YOU'RE DEAD!" Hopefully that gym leader will save his own skin somehow.

**Up on top of some peaceful mountain, supposedly alone in a rotting temple, the lovely atmosphere is interrupted by some inferior sci-fi nerd.**

"IT IS YOUR FATE. JOIN ME LUKE, AND WE SHALL RULE TOGETHER."

"FATHER! NOOOOOO!"

He turned with a gasp, quickly followed by an urge to wring Gingka's neck as they raced down the mountainside.

**Over in Metal City, we observe a regular lunchtime with the eccentric president of the WBBA, in an attempt to lighten the day; but his geekhood is evidently lost on Hikaru.**

Hikaru paused in front of Ryo's desk. She knew he was busy; she should probably bring him lunch from the cafeteria downstairs.

"What do you want for lunch, sir?"

He paused for a moment to think; and then, "BRING ME SOLO AND THE WOOKIE."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Uh, it was a quote."

"From...what?"

"Star wars."

"Oh. So what do you want?"

"BRING ME CHICKEN AND A COOKIE."

"Okay. That's better."


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, today we're featuring weapons. Happy Monday, everyone!

* * *

At Madoka's workshop, when Kyouya was being a jerk:

"Stand back." Kyouya threateningly waved a nacho in Madoka's face.

"Kyouya, move! I need to get to the workshop."

"Never."

"What's up with you!?"

"Stand back or else...THE NACHO."

"That's a nacho, not a sword, get me?"

"So you say."

"WHO GAVE HIM CHOCOLATE!?" Madoka demanded into the empty air.

She slipped past Kyouya, who put the nacho down her vest. She didn't notice until she went to bed that night.

* * *

At my house when Ryuga made me babysit the two worse villain wannabe's in history:

"Do not touch my stuff or I WILL STAB YOU."

"Oh yeah? With what?" Tobio demanded smugly of Tetsuya.

"With...with THIS!"

Tetsuya wielded a large piece of cake.

"Stab me with a piece of cake...right." Tobio then lunged for Tetsuya's stuff.

Later he had to go to the hospital because his arm had been broken by the lethal Devil's Food cake.

* * *

At my cousin's house while he was asleep upstairs and we were bored with nothing to do:

"You'll never take me!" Gingka leaped behind the couch, shielding himself with its trustworthy frame.

"Well I have a lightsaber. You don't." Ryuga stood over him smugly.

"I have...I have THIS!"

"This, what?"

"This...this..." Gingka was begging for a lucky break. "This secret...weapon."

"What is it?"

"It's a secret."

"No. You don't have one. Prepare to die." Ryuga stabbed at the couch with his lightsaber. Gingka screamed.

"NO! FATHERRRRRR!"

"Ryo's not here. Time's up for you."

"No, I mean, from the movie, like, NO FATHERRRR..."

"Okay, okay, I get it. Quit stalling and come die like a man."

"I don't wanna die like a man! I want to die like a screaming helpless little girl..."

"Come on, try something new for a change."

Gingka glared. Ryuga laughed heartlessly and kicked the couch.

"Owww! That's it, my...SECRET WEAPON!" Gingka leaped from behind the couch. Stood still, for a moment. And then...

"MADOKA!" He screamed and ran towards the kitchen, Ryuga in hot pursuit. On rounding the door frame he was hit with a box full of couch lint.

Turns out he's deathly allergic to couch lint. Gingka grabbed the lightsaber, stabbed Ryuga, and proclaimed himself the victor.

* * *

At Ryuusei's house where Tsubasa and Yu live, while I was asleep:

"Nine little monkeys, jumpin' on the bed...one jumped off and..."

"YU! WOULD YOU QUIT THAT!?" Tsubasa was on his last nerve. Yu had been repeating the song from 10 for the last 2 hours on Tsubasa's bed while he was trying to work.

Well, play Age of Mythology, actually, but same difference.

"Awwww...but whyyyyy? You said I could stayyyyy heeeeeereeee..."

"Get out. Please. You're messing me up."

"Whhhhyyyy?"

"Because you made my hand slip and my hippo got killed", Tsubasa explained, his patience waning every second.

"Coool. Can I play?"

"No. Go on."

"But I wanna-"

"NO."

Yu started to bawl. Tsubasa sighed. "Go fetch." He threw a lollipop out the door.

"OOH! OOHOHOHOHOOOOOOH!" Yu ran after it. Tsubasa smirked.

A minute later...

"HEEEEY! You tricked me!" Yu stomped back in the room and hit poor Tsubasa on the head with Madoka's sweater. He swatted Tsubasa all the way out of his own room and took control of Age of Mythology, winning the entire game in less than 10 minutes and subjecting Tsubasa to a song about his amazing high score for the rest of his life.

* * *

At Hikaru's house, while she and Madoka were SUPPOSED to be having a girl's day out, but Dunamis asked them to watch Tithi:

"LET GO OF ME." Tithi was wailing as Hikaru tried to stuff him in the bathtub.

"But you have to take a bath, Tithi!"

"I don't want to!" Tithi hated bathtime.

Madoka heard a scuffling sound from the bathroom, but didn't investigate until a few hours later when she heard something like the toilet falling over. She found Hikaru Hasama on the floor, bound with a towel and gagged with a rubber duck...Tithi had subdued her with the toilet plunger and knocked her out using a loofah.

* * *

See you tomorrow everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

Just another regular day...

This was inspired by me and my little brothers playing a game in the pool yesterday. Enjoy!

Ics: Tsubasa (Of course)

Ocs: Mj, Matt, and Mikey

Guest appearances: Tetsuya! Crabby!

* * *

There had never been a day so hot as this one, so overladen with air of such a humidity that you could almost feel it draping around your shoulders. Luckily Mj's family had a swimming pool.

Tsubasa opted to sit by the side of it as usual, while Mj followed her little brothers to the water's edge, clothed in a t-shirt, shorts and life jacket. (None of them knew how to properly swim and so they always used for the life jackets, to make themselves feel floaty.)

"I'm borrrred...I'm borrrrrred..." Mikey floated on his back and stared at the sky.

"You're in the water. I thought water was entertainment for little children." Mikey glared at Tsubasa. "I mean...8 year olds."

"Do you know any good water games, Tsubasa?"

"No. I don't like water."

"Heh. Tell that to the fish."

"There's Marco Polo", suggested Matt.

"I'm tired of that game. Mj always wins."

"You can't really WIN, Mikey. It's not that kind of game."

"You've seen her make grape juice from lemons before. Forget that, she could make grape juice from a turkey", commented Tsubasa. "It's nothing for her to win a game that you can't win."

"You're so nice. Look, I'm a pirate!" Mj crouched low in the water and scuttled around.

"Mahahaha. You look more like Tetsuya-san."

"Crabbyyyyy..."

"Don't do that, it's creepy."

"I know!" Matt was struck with a brilliant idea. "We can play pirates. The biggest person is the ship, I'll be the boat, and Mikey can be the little man. The little man has to capture the boat and then they both have to capture the ship."

"I'm not little!"

"Come get me, little man." Matt swam around the swimming pool while Tsubasa watched with mild boredom. Mikey desperately paddled after him with his short little arms and legs until he gave up, lying on his back like a fluorescent orange beetle. Matt swam over to within 5 inches of Mikey and let him get on his back.

"Okay, now GET THE SHIP!" Matt swam furiously towards his older sister, who was doing outdated dance moves underwater. She shrieked when she saw them heading her way. "CRABBYYY!" Then she headed for the opposite shore.

"Ow! HEY! No splashing, sister!" Tsubasa was indignant as he was hit by wave after wave of Mj's violent assault on sanity.

"I ain't your sister. And they ain't splashing. They're guns." Mj was from Texas and tended to take on a Southern accent when she was sassing people.

"Well quit aiming at me."

"Get a life, Tsubachan." Mj aimed her splashes at her little brothers, neglecting to avoid Tsubasa in the process. Then she ducked under the water and out of sight; it remained unbeknownst to the boys how she could disappear in crystal clear swimming pool water.

Her life jacket floated ominously to the surface but a moment later. She was nowhere in sight.

Finally Mj appeared a few feet from the life jacket, floundering helplessly in the 7 foot deep water.

"Honestly? You can conjure pineapple trees from nowhere, but you can't swim?"

"Gablugh." Mj made a sort of gurgling sound and caught the floatie in her fingers. "Phew, almost drowned there."

She ducked beneath the water again, resurfacing just behind Matt the Boat.

"CRABBY!"

"HAAGH! DON'T DO THAT!"

Mikey fell off of Matt. Matt fell beneath the water. Tsubasa fell off the deck chair. Mj laughed.

"Did somebody call me, crabs?"

"Oh no." Mj whirled.

"Tetsuya, buddy! How great to see you!" Her smile was as fake as a Santa Claus.

"Oh, thank you crabs."

"Now...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" The fury was lost on poor Tetsuya.

"I came because someone said crab, crab."

"Oh...care to leave?"

"NO, I don't, I'll just stay here."

"Okay. Fine." Mj glared at the greasy haired crab.

At that moment she was assaulted from behind. "GET THE SHIIIIPP!"

She floundered out from under her giggling brothers and to the centre of the pool. "Gentlemen, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Jack Spar - OUGH!" She fell beneath the water comically.

"GAH! Tsubasa! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THERE WAS WATER THERE!"

"It's a swimming pool, pinchy. You should expect water."

"Oh thank you sir. Now please vacation the promises."

"I think you mean -"

"Oh Tetsuya, please go find a nice little crab to save or eat or play with or something. I think I hear a crab in distress."

"OH DEAR CRAB I WILL SAVE YOU!" Tetsuya was finally gone. Mj the ship was sunk by Tsubasa being pulled into the water, courtesy of Matt. And they all came into the house wet and were scolded by her mother.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi there. My name is Zayne, and I'll be taking over Smiling through a Monday for today. Even though we weren't necessarily smiling yesterday, it's funny when you look back on it.

I guess Luis told you all about how Masamune and Ryuga were in the ER yesterday. I guess he told you how we're all tired now, and how Mj freaked out until he and Tsubasa came out to calm her down before she woke up the coma patients.

She's still asleep now. We're lucky she doesn't snore.

So this is the story of how Masamune and Ryuga ended up in the ER at the same time.

* * *

You shouldn't bring Ryuga to a restaurant. That's what I told them all, even if it is his birthday. He has no business in a public place like that, without straitjackets handy. So they brought Luis with them.

Do you want to come? They said.

I said no. If anyone was going to be associated with that dragon maniac causing a disaster, it wasn't going to be me.

Oh, it'll be fun, they said. But you know what happens when they say that. It never is.

So I was left at home with Masamune. Another mistake. We all make mistakes; it's just that when our group gets together, we make more than average. We're better at filling police quotas than anyone else that I know.

So there they went with Ryuga. That's the second half of this story. Since I wasn't there, Luis will come to that in a bit.

Masamune wanted to play on the piano, naturally; ever since Mj and the crisis with Kyouya, she's not let a one of us on that thing. But since she was gone, he said what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

I said it was a bad idea. I told him all along. But he didn't listen. That piano banged on for the rest of the afternoon, until I wanted to lay down and die. He's nowhere near as good as the people who actually know how to play piano. Forget that, he's nowhere near as good as Kyouya.

It's not a compliment.

I could hear all the birds flying away in the direction of the city, squawking with pain as their little brains blew up.

Masamune finally got tired of that piano and went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Most of the glasses were shattered, thanks to his raucous playing. He managed to find one that could be drunk from, one of the plastic ones with Mickey Mouse on it. I went into the kitchen a minute later; it was about dinner time by now, and I wondered where Ryuga and the others could possibly be. They'd only left before lunch.

Well I guess I came up on Masamune a bit too fast. He threw his water glass into the air and we found out why Matt shouldn't leave his library books on the counter. The kitchen floor was covered in the shards of glass that fell out of the cabinets, the counter was covered with water. Masamune was yelling at me for scaring him.

I told him how Mj's mother would likely punish him for getting all the glass in the house shattered at one time, and how Mj would punish him for getting his sticky little fingers on her piano. Jelly beans will do that.

"First Mj's mum is going to string you up by your toenails and smack you with a rolled up newspaper, and then she'll throw you in a soup pot and pour you down the sewer. Then Mj will find you in the sewer and feed you to the alligator that lives down there, who she'll feed to a hippo, who will then grow wings from her authoress power and fly into the sun and burn up. Then she'll throw the ashes in a swamp and watch them sink."

I shouldn'tve told him that. He said he was going away to Africa forever. The only thing that stopped him was the sliding glass door in the kitchen; he has the brain of a hummingbird and he forgot what glass was. He ended up unconscious with an ostrich egg-sized lump on his head. So I drove him to the ER, about the same time that Tsubasa went to pick up Luis, who'll tell you the other side of the story now.

* * *

Hi, this is Luis...the guy who came around yesterday to give you that message from Mj...you know who I am already.

I am epic.

That's the best intro ever.

Well anyways, they brought me along on the outing because certain persons might need restraining. That's all I'm good for. Not really. But they said they needed me and I will take on my duties honourably.

And also I was the only one whose car was working at the time.

So we came up to this super-fancy restaurant after about 45 minutes of getting lost - it was nearly 1:00 by then. Actually it wasn't that fancy, it was a McDonald's.

SO we walked in the doors and it seemed OK. Ryuga was in an all right mood; so far the most disruptive thing he'd done so far was to throw a cinder block out the car window at a weird driver lady. The window wasn't open.

We all went up to order; I won't tell you that part, it's boring. What was important was when Ryuga got a fish burger and demanded for Mj to taste it and make sure it wasn't poison. He probably poisoned it himself just so he could get rid of her.

It wasn't poison, though, it was mustard. The really green kind that tastes like paint. And in the middle of lunch this crazy bird flew in. He looked like he'd got his brains blown up by some maniac on a piano. And then he came over and tried to eat our food.

Well I was the guardian so I got the spoon that I carry around just in case and started swatting at it. But all the burgers got crushed. And then I ended up hitting Ryuga in the side of the head, not too hard, but he got really mad at me. I don't know how many cinder blocks he has in that jacket of his; I counted 5 before I escaped to the playground outside.

I sure hope McDonald's has good insurance.

Well I must have hit him in the wrong place because he started walking around like a sleepy chimp and then he just yelled "super monkey" and fell down on that sticky tile floor they always have in McDonald's.

They told us he accidentally got the cactus juice burger by mistake.

Well Mj had to drive him and Kyouya to the ER; Kyouya went with her so she wouldn't faint while she was driving. And since only Ryuga fit lying down on the back seat, I had to stay until Tsubasa got there. He nearly forgot me for his lovely double-decker burger. And I nearly forgot my armoured spoon.

* * *

Well that's the story of why there was no chapter yesterday.


	5. Chapter 5

Well, since right now I'm on vacation and you'll be lucky if i even remembered to post this, I'm doing another excerpt, this time from Other Side.

* * *

A large, infuriating unicorn danced through Ryuga's dreams as he tossed and turned on the couch, mentally surrounded by floating penguins and evil minions. It was all so surreal.

He was jerked back to reality as somebody shook him by the shoulders. "Hey! HEEEEYYY! DRAGON-BOY! WAKE UP!"

Ryuga blinked sleepily. "Wh-wha..."

A month after the fight in the alley, Ryuga was still stuck at Kelle's. His sprained ankle was now healed, but she had reminded him of his lack of money and allowed him to stay with her until he got back on his feet.

"You're getting a job today."

"But it's sooo earlyy..."

"Get up."

"Why do you have to be my personal alarm clock?" He snapped.

"Because I'm not leaving you in this apartment asleep alone for the hour late you like to wake up, while I work my head off in a greasy fast food restaurant for 8 hours a day. Hit the street, dragon-boy, or I'm sending you to labor-ready."

"Fine", he grumbled, sitting up. His mouth tasted of morning breath and he'd fallen asleep with his headband on; his scalp was all sore now.

"And don't call me dragon-boy."

"Whatever. I want you to meet me for lunch at that cafe down by that alley...you know the one. Your poor foot knows the one. And your empty wallet also knows the one." The smug look on Kelle's face was infuriating. Like the evil unicorn of dreams.

"Why can't we just eat lunch at that restaurant you work at?"

Kelle made a face. "Are you kidding me? I have to work there. I'm not eating there, too."

Ryuga had to laugh. But only a little.

Kelle glanced at her watch. "Oi. I have to go. You better not be on this couch at lunch time."

And without another word, she whisked out the door, leaving a still-drowsy Ryuga in her living room.

Ryuga wandered through Kyoto with his now ever-present map, searching for a job. The idea was to save enough money to rent an apartment, and go from there.

He filled out at least 10 job applications that morning.

First name: Ryuga

Second name: George (He didn't have a middle name, so he made up one on each form. He'd gone through George, Kyle, Harrison, Miles, and many others.)

Last name: None

Address: Cardboard box (That one he put because he didn't want to admit he was living with a friend.)

Alternate address: Dumpster

Home phone: Here he surrendered and put Kelle's phone number.

How did you learn about our company? "I walked through the door looking for a job."

Position sought: Boss.

Available start date: Tomorrow.

Desired pay range (By hour or salary): Every day

Are you currently employed? Probably not.

High school: High school of the homeschooled (And by homeschooled, he meant none.)

Graduate? No.

Degree? About 71 Fahrenheit.

Major subjects of study: Running away, hurting people

College: Volcano

Graduate? Yes.

Degree? Hot enough to cook a cow.

Major subject of study: Not falling in.

Special training? Art of reading maps.

Graduate? Not yet.

Major subject of study: Holding the map correctly.

Other education? No.

Please list your special skills: Chasing people off, scaring children, kicking stuff, filling out job applications, breaking limbs, yelling, evil laughter

Not surprisingly, he didn't get a single job that day.

By midday it was sweltering. Ryuga relished in the thought of air conditioning, and headed to the restaurant.

"Oh, you finally got here." His happiness was short-lived.

Kelle hadn't waited for him to get there; she already had a burger in her hand. He was mildly offended. Ryuga was always mildly offended. And mildly offensive, too.

He ordered a meal and sat down to wait for the waitress. The waitress was the one who was supposed to be doing the waiting here. It wasn't fair.

"Hey look. I stopped by that toy store on the way over here cuz..."

Ryuga had learned when to tune out Kelle. Now was one of those times.

"Look! We're dragon buddies..."

Ryuga looked at Kelle in alarm. She was shaking a stuffed dragon in his face.

"'Ey. Quit that. We're not dragon buddies, kid."

"I'm not a kid, dragon buddy."

Having her happy was both a blessing and a curse. But having her mad was a flat-out curse. That made having her happy a little better, but not by much.

"Oh you know that movie that's coming out?...the one about that guy who had this friend whose dog was about to have puppies but they thought it was a boy..."

Now was another one of those times.

Finally the waitress brought him the food.

"...and they filmed it like right near here...the ninja turtle guy was in it. What was his name again? Oh yeah, it was..."

Ryuga concentrated on his burger.

"...hey, you look sad. Are you sad, DRAGON BUDDY?"

"Kelle, you're annoying."

"No I'm not. I'm just regular. You just don't know how to deal with regularness because you came from a cave in the sea."

"I cam from a city east of here. Is regularness even a word?"

"It exists, no?"

"No."

"Oohh...this sounds like one of those philosophy things, like that time when the guy's daughter had this friend whose uncle was..."

Was it ever not one of those times?

Ryuga concentrated on the table. There was a hand in his fries. A really small, alive, wiggly one...

He followed the hand. Down. Shorter than the table, pink haired and brown capped, was a little girl. Or a boy. He couldn't actually tell. The kid was taking his fries. He yelped, startled at this tiny creature who was reaching up to the table.

"Gah! Kid, you scared me to death! Go on, shoo!"

"Hey, be nice to Maru..."

"The baby thing was stealing my fries! AGAIN! My fries are ALWAYS GETTING STOLEN!"

"Ryuga, you're causing a scene-"

"YOU'RE causing a scene!"

"Ryuga! Don't..."

Ryuga stood up too fast and the table tipped over onto its side, rolling through the diner and terrorizing the pedestrians as it crashed through the door and into oncoming traffic.

"WHO ON EARTH DID THAT?" Ryuga yelled loudly. Kelle glared as she tried to comfort the spooked Maru.

And then the owner of the restaurant came stomping up to Kelle.

"KELLE WATSON! WHO ON EARTH IS THAT!?"

"It's my, uh...friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's mechanic's dentist's son's father-in-law's daughter's sister's cousin's friend's obscure relative's colleague's aunt's daughter's fiance's brother's teacher's nephew's...son."

"Well, tell your friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's mechanic's dentist's son's father-in-law's daughter's sister's cousin's friend's obscure relative's colleague's aunt's daughter's fiance's brother's teacher's nephew..."

"His son.."

"Yeah, tell your friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's mechanic's dentist's son's father-in-law's daughter's sister's cousin's friend's obscure relative's colleague's aunt's daughter's fiance's brother's teacher's nephew's son to clean up this mess."

"Okay. Hey, friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's mechanic's dentist's son's father-in-law's daughter's sister's cousin's friend's obscure relative's colleague's aunt's daughter's fiance's brother's teacher's nephew's son, come here and clean this up. Hey, do you have any job openings?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. How about your teacher's brother's dog's friend..."

"Friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's mechanic's dentist's son's father-in-law's daughter's sister's cousin's friend's obscure relative's colleague's aunt's daughter's fiance's brother's teacher's nephew's son..."

"Yeah. Him. Tell him he can work here and he'll get a monthly deduction to pay this off little by little."

"Okay. Hey, Friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's mechanic's dentist's son's father-in-law's daughter's sister's cousin's friend..."

"I heard her, Kelle."

"You mean, your dad's aunt's student's brother's fiance's mom's nephew's colleague's obscure relative's friend's cousin's sister's dad's son-in-law's father's patient's client's dog's cousin's owner's neighbor."

"Whatever, Kelle." Ryuga stomped out of the restaurant.

"Here, Maru, you can have his fries." Kelle hurried after him before he dropped an anvil on a park or something.

"Hey, Friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's mechanic's dentist's son's father-in-law's daughter's sister's cousin's friend's obscure relative's colleague's aunt's daughter's fiance's brother's teacher's nephew's son."

"I'm not your father's brother's aunt's niece's daughter's dog's cousin."

"That would make me the dog's cousin's owner's mom's aunt's brother's father's daughter. I'm your dad's aunt's student's brother's fiance's mom's nephew's colleague's obscure relative's friend's cousin's sister's dad's son-in-law's father's patient's client's dog's cousin's owner's neighbor, which would make you my Friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's mechanic's dentist's son's father-in-law's daughter's sister's cousin's friend's obscure relative's colleague's aunt's daughter's fiance's brother's teacher's nephew's son..."

"I'm not your son."

"No, you're my Friend's neighbor's dog's cousin's owner's..."

"KELLE!"

"Okay, okay." And so they walked home. Ryuga had gotten his job, after all.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, it's Friday! Which means tomorrow's Saturday! It also means...it's excerpt day!

I know, I know, you got enough of this last week. But I'm sticking to the schedule, and too busy to write another chapter right now...so do enjoy!

And do check out Prototype 1 if you haven't got the chance to yet.

* * *

Ryuto knelt beside the river. He'd agreed to help Toby catch fish for dinner.

Tsubasa was setting up the tents and Brady and Kyouya were out getting firewood. Ryuto concentrated on the clear water in front of him and waited for the shadow that meant a fish was near.

All of a sudden a flash of silver darted through the air. Ryuto's hand shot out and he pulled in a nicely sized trout.

"Here, hold this." He shoved the fish at Toby, who eagerly grabbed hold of it. Ryuto ran back to camp because he forgot his knife.

The fish flapped insistently in Toby's hands "Hey, hold still, fish." The fish answered with a skillful slap of its tail, and hit Toby square in the face.

"OW!" Startled, Toby dropped the trout as Ryuto returned.

He came in on a most unusual sight. Toby, now sporting a red fish-shaped slap mark on his cheek, was juggling the trout like a ball.

"What on earth are you doing, Toby?"

"I'm, uh, catching a fish- -"

He was cut off as the fish leapt towards him, and with a startled cry, he toppled off the bank. Ryuto ran to shore to help him up.

* * *

Kyouya could see a nice sized log a little further off the path. He went to pick it up and was surprised as the log yanked back, hard, nearly toppling him over.

"GAAH! HAUNTED LOG!" Then he saw that it was only Brady, pulling the wood away from him.

"Hey, ease off. I found the log first."

"Nuh-uh."

"GIVE IT."

"YOU GIVE IT!"

"You guys", came Tsubasa's faraway voice, "It's gonna be burnt up anyway. It's only wood, stop fighting over it."

Brady scowled and surrendered the log.

A little further down the path, out of Tsubasa's hearing range (supposedly), rested a tantalizingly large piece of wood. Instantly they both reached for it.

"GIVE IT", Kyouya snarled.

"Why should I give it to you? You're not very nice."

"PLEASE give it."

"No way."

"GIVE IT TO ME!"

"Well, first you have to beat me in an arm wrestle!"

"WHAT!? IS THAT A CHALLENGE!?"

"YES!"

About 200 yards away, Tsubasa snorted.

Kyouya and Brady dropped their wood. "Loser has to carry all the firewood. AND sleep on the ground."

"Deal."

For the next 10 minutes, they strained to bring each other down.

"You're not as strong as I thought."

Kyouya snorted. "I'm going easy on you." Lies.

"I'm bringing you down..."

"...In your dreams, you pathetic GIRL."

"GAH. Let's see who's the REAL girl!"

"YOU are actually a girl!"

"No, YOU'RE a girl!"

"NUH-UH!"

Taking advantage of this distraction, Brady pushed Kyouya's arm down to the ground. "I WON!"

"WHAT!? NO! YOU MUST'VE CHEATED OR SOMETHING! I DEMAND A REMATCH!"

"No way, kitty boy! I won fair and square, and I'd beat you again, easily!"

"IS THAT A CHALLENGE!?"

"You're carrying the wood, kitty."

"Grrrr..." Kyouya frustratedly stooped to pick up the wood and trudged sulkily down the footpath after Brady.

* * *

Tsubasa looked up from bending a tent pole to see Ryuto returning with a stick of skewered fish slung over his shoulder.

"Great job, you guys! That should be enough for everybody", he said, scrutinizing the pole thoughtfully.

"Yeah, well, I did most of the fishing. Toby here decided to go for a swim and got beaten by a 2-pound trout", answered Ryuto with a straight face.

"That would explain the fish-shaped slap mark."

"Yeah, that's very funny, guys." A dripping wet Toby sludged sulkily after Ryuto, glaring at his soaked shoes.

"I'm going into the bushes to change my clothes."

"Okay, but go to the other side of the clearing. Kyouya and Brady will be coming back the other way."

Toby shot his brother a loathsome glare and squelched into the trees.

A few minuted later, Brady marched into camp, looking extremely proud of herself.

"Where's all the wood?"

"Kyouya's carrying it."

"Why?"

"Don't ask", Tsubasa hastily advised. Ryuto gave him a strange look, but said no more. A few more minutes passed and a large pile of wood came walking into the clearing.

"Oh, hello, Kyouya", said Ryuto. Again with the straight face.

"Yeah, whatever", came Kyouya's muffled voice from behind the wood, which he dumped haughtily in the middle of the camp. After a look around, he inquired, "Where's Toby?"

"He went to change out of his bathing suit", Ryuto answered seriously.

"Ew. Don't put that picture in my mind."

"I was not wearing a bathing suit", Toby snapped through gritted teeth, emerging from the forest grumpily.

"Ew. Like I said, don't."

Toby scowled at Ryuto, who pretended to be oblivious. Brady shook her head in a mock-disapproving manner. Tsubasa sighed. "Just quit fighting and build the fire."

"Oh, who made you Mr. Boss?" Demanded Kyouya.

"Well, I'm the only one mature enough to shut my mouth and get to work, and I'm the only one who decided he'd rather NOT be up all night in the freezing rain, so I thought you could use a little help there, Kyouya."

Kyouya glared. "It's not raining, dummy." An ice-cold drop fell on his head.

"It is now."

"Wait-How did you..."

"Nevermind." Tsubasa smiled.

"And you're sleeping on the ground tonight, kitty-cat." Brady smirked and tweaked his ear.

"HEY! CUT THAT OUT!"

"Guys, we'd better build the fire and eat before we're all soaked to the bone"- here Ryuto threw a compensating look at Toby -"Again..."

Once more pretending to be oblivious to Toby's scowl, he knelt by the pile of wood and pretended to be busy.

The raindrops fell heavier by the second around the small group as Ryuto struggled to light the fire.

"Let's get the fish cooked before it's too wet", suggested Toby, trying to be helpful now.

Ryuto grimaced. "I'm afraid it's too late for that now."

"NOOO! WE HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING!"

"Didn't anybody bring anything besides yesterday's lunch?...really? Nobody brought ANYTHING? WE FLEW ALL NIGHT IN A HELICOPTER AND NOBODY BROUGHT ANY MORE FOOD!?"

Tsubasa watched as the others shook their heads.

"We'll have to eat them raw", announced Brady, grabbing a fish and walking into her tent.

The others surveyed the fish in silence, getting wetter by the second, until Kyouya said, "...Ew."

"Heh. And that's coming from the kitty boy."

"You're sleeping outside, kitty", Brady called from inside her tent. Kyouya glared at the wall of waterproof fabric before stomping off under a tree.

Toby, Ryuto and Tsubasa walked into the small 1-person tents set up around the clearing; since Brady had taken control of the 2-person tent, they were all stuck with tiny cramped ones. Long-legged boys had to endure so many worse things than short girls.

* * *

Late that night, a drenched Kyouya walked back to camp. In the dark, fish bones glistened white against the gray drizzle, right outside Brady's tent. Ew. She'd actually eaten that raw fish. Disgusting.

And they said boys were the gross ones...

From inside Toby's tent came a chomping sound; evidently he'd tried the fish too. Kyouya mumbled a complaint to the cloudy sky and curled up in the middle of the clearing, anticipating a sleepless night.

* * *

Something fun I thought I'd do, you get a preview of what is to come sometime next week if my crazy mind/schedule permits...

Mj and Tsubasa are sent to London to live with her grandmother for a week or a month or an undetermined period of time. The problem is, Mj's grandmother doesn't know that Tsubasa exists! So the duo has to keep Tsubasa's existence a secret at risk of grandmotherly rage...

Muahahahaha.


	7. Chapter 7

Well, no suggestions for today, so I'm putting a little excerpt from Prototype 1.

Happy Wednesday!

* * *

Ryo Hagane was, as usual, subjected to a rude awakening.

"DAD! Wake up! IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

Ryo sat bolt upright in bed. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten.

"Oh, son, I-WHY, YOU-! It's September, Gingka!"

"Aw. Man."

It was then that Ryo noticed his son was wearing a baseball glove on his head. "Just who are you supposed to be, son?"

"Mrs. Darth Vader!"

"Ooo...kay. Cut down on the caffeine pills, will you?"

"Nope!"

"Son...why are you wearing a shirt for pants?" Gingka was indeed wearing a shirt over his jeans.

"Because it's opposite day...can we have ice cream for breakfast, dad?"

"No."

"YAAAAY!"

"Wait-what?"

"It's opposite day so we CAN have ice cream! Since you said no."

"Okay, then...yes."

"WOOHOO!"

"But I thought it was opposite day!"

"Nope, I lied."

"Go mess around with Masamune or something..."

"Okay, dad."

Gingka was gone, leaving his father to dress in peace...

...supposedly.

"DIRECTOR!" Hikaru pounded furiously on the door of his bedroom.

"What?"

"Masamune is wearing my jacket!"

"Okay, okay. I'll be out in a minute!"

Ryo stumbled over a skateboard in the hallway and grabbed Masamune by the back of the neck as he ran past. "Give Hikaru back her jacket now."

"Okay...fine. But it fits my complexion perfectly, don't you think?" He struck a model pose.

"Now."

"FIIINE..."

Ryo commandeered the jacket and returned it to Hikaru, who was glaring murderously at Masamune. "Ok, you two. Skedaddle."

After which, Ryo barricaded himself into his office. Literally. He used a couch. He was surprised he'd survived through breakfast with his son.

He sighed and grabbed the coffee cup off his desk. Then he remembered the coffee pot was in the hallway, beyond his safehouse that was represented by the couch. Perhaps he could go without caffeine for a day?

Or a week?

Who knew how long he'd be barricaded in here. Only to save his life.

Ryo would have preferred a peaceful day, for once in his life. He would have loved the thought of sitting down at a desk for only 8 hours a day instead of 10, drinking coffee without fearing for his neck each time he set foot in the hallway, perhaps having no children terrorizing the place morning noon and night.

But such thoughts had altogether ceased to enter his mind. He had long before learned that to entertain them meant only heartbreak, and that to strive for them meant only emergency room charges and police chases.

He managed to avoid the kids for a few hours that morning, but soon realised he should've packed a sack lunch. Now the cafeteria was the only option. Maybe they wouldn't be there.

Ryo dramatically tiptoed down the hallway, lifting his knees high, arms in a crow-like position that Jack Sparrow would have approved of had he been there.

Perhaps a babysitting pirate would be the only thing that could control his son and Masamune.

Ryo found himself discovered all too soon. Gingka ran past, waving a fish in the air. Ryo decided he'd never seen a thing and tried to continue to the cafeteria, but he was stopped by Masamune with a spear.

"Where did you get that!?"

"The basement! I love the basement!"

"We don't have a basement..."

"Then where did I get THIS!?"

Ryo found the spear waving uncomfortably close to his face.

"Put it down. What are you doing?"

"Surviving in the wild just like Tsubasa!"

"You're not Tsubasa. Now go watch TV."

"Hikaru won't let us."

"Masamune", Ryo said gently, "That was the security camera feed."

"Yeah, we saw you sneaking out of the room for coffee, dad! It was funny when you squeezed around the couch!" Gingka made Ryo jump and caused his ribs to ache in remembrance of the sacrifice for the sake of coffee.

"Where did you get that fish, son?"

"From the fish store in the basement!"

"We don't have a fish store. Or a basement."

"Then where did I get this fish?"

"I don't know, son. Put it away." Gingka obediently put it in the fish sheath at his hip.

Since when did his son carry a fish sheath?

Ryo had learned to ignore it.

He was dragged to a torturous lunch with the boys. Then, around 4 that afternoon, Hikaru's voice crackled tiredly through his intercom.

"Sir, Tsubasa's back." Then she screamed.

Ryo raced downstairs. The reason for intense screamage, as he soon found, was Ryuga's sudden reappearance. Ryo ignored him and focused on the happy fact that Tsubasa was back to babysit.


End file.
